There is NEVER enough time to waste !

New Service: Horn The Bums


New Jávea Service:  Send your kids to have their bums horned by jolly bulls.

Horning your kids bum has many advantage:

  • Avoid paying double for clothes full of casual holes, the bulls make them for free
  • The kids wont be tempted to steal your best chair for at least 2 weeks guaranteed
  • It naturally teaches the boys never to turn around when asked not to

Good clean family entertainment you can trust in Jávea !

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Teulada – Beauty On The Inside ?


The most glorious and beautiful town in Spain is Teulada. If you travel round Spain and simply hate all the “lovey dovey” outdoor cafés, despise how people pretty up their houses and all the annoying fiestas, Teulada is for you! Nothing ever happens in Teulada as its just too much of a downer to go out, but on the upside Teulada never looks tacky because it seems there are local laws against maintaining or decorating your property in any way.

Teulada is the perfect place for a therapy holiday. For instance, if you struggle to stay clinically depressed because of all the sunshine, beauty and happiness in Spain – Teulada is the ideal place for you. Just take a short walk through the run down deserted streets and like a miracle you will soon be swallowing kilos of happy pills! You will never suffer nasty sun burns in Teulada either, unlike in nasty towns like Moraira and Jávea, you get a natural aversion to ever going out in Teulada which works even better than suncream.

Holidays in Teulada are pleasantly cheap and great for loosing weight. You can spend an entire month strolling the streets of Teulada without finding a single shop that hasn’t long since shut down and been left to decay. We all love the splendid atmosphere created by white washed windows and empty stores, but it also has medical benefits for food addicts who simply wont be exposed to a single temptation. If you are fat and poor, Teulada is for you.

Some places build their holiday apartments with idiotic unnecessary air condition and other luxuries just to show off. In Teulada they have the perfectly ecofriendly and  sustainable solution. Simply forget to put the last of the 4-walls in and there´s fresh air for you and your family all through your dream holiday in Teulada.

What are you waiting for? Teulada is waiting in all its glory!

PS: A word of advice when going home from your holiday. The roads away from Teulada can be severely congested!

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The Danish Consulate in Alicante ….


I might apply for a job with the danish consulate…they seem to lack something fundamental….

“Holaaa” …

“Hola, hablan danis?”…

“Nooo, hablan ingles y espanol! Soy danis?” (sounds surprised)…

“Ehmm siii, yo quiro un pasaporte nuevo”…

“Un pasaporte danis?? jajaja” ….


“su pasaporte es robado??”…

“no no, solo expirado” …

“Ahhh jajaja, por que quiro una nueva?” …

“Porque…es expirado” …

“Ahhhh jajajaja, viajar al dinamarca???”


“Ah, un pasaporte no es necessario”

“Ehm si, mi pasaporte es expirado, yo quiero un nuevo”

“Si siiii, pero es muy caro, tu quiero????”


“Ahhhh siii puedo”

“Necessario voy al su oficina?

“Siiii … soy abiertos desde 10 a 1 algunos diaz” …

“Fantastico or something” ….

… but to my surprise, today the new passport arrived, it was even danish.

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